On Love, Sex and Betrothal
Love is totality. Love is the basis of reality, the essence of human, the meaning of philosophy. It is the expression of your life, your breath, your motion; it consumes you and intoxicates your wholeness. You can no longer be a villain, yet human, with or without love. And a hero no longer can be real without it. Love is not carnal.
Love is no beating heart, it is a lifestyle.
I profess Love, as God as my witness, I claim and attest to the highest ordinance of all Love, the purest and most noble, the quintessence of innocence, True Love. May words be cautious, for I no longer can believe that one can express their sentiments without being mistaken for YABFGF (Yet Another Boyfriend-Girlfriend). Thus this essay is a proposal of vindication and justification, if therefore you are only interested in this essay because you saw the word “sex” in the title, you might be too shallow for the mature topics discussed in this essay, however hopefully these words have spited you into reading it just because, and don’t worry, you’ll get to eat your cake too. This essay, however, shall be unique from my other essays, being addressed in a much more casual and personal way.
First off for fun and spite, I want to mess with your brain to get you thinking differently. The big topic of “Sex before Marriage”, the Biblical answer is actually “have sex before marriage.” Wait, hear my flawed-argument before you judge me. Jesus said, “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court” as well as “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery ’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Basically, it is making it very clear that what we think and feel are just as important as what we do. So here’s the dilemma, a man and a woman are clearly not going to get married unless they are thinking they will have sex, or, well, if they aren’t thinking about that, I’m sure they’ll be very shocked, surprised and even slightly dismayed about what is involved in reproducing, but I’m sure they’ll be very cute and loyal to each other anyways. Anyway, if what we think is of as sinful or righteous consequences as Jesus implies, then the man and the woman have already had sex many times and way before they are married, though it just may not be literal. Well, ahem, I assume you see the flaw in my argument, but, I think it is an interesting thought to think through to get your mind in gear. More will be said on this topic later on.
On Love.
Now for the good stuff, that’s right, the theological philosophical discourse on Love, it is much better than talking about sex. The big question today is, “What is Love?” While the answer is pretty logical and simple, our society is so messed up that it is a rather heart-wrenching and complicatedly confusing topic. So we need to start with the basics. Love is not a mushy-feely good emotion. Though do note, love is a catalyst for mushy-feely good emotions; however it is not the only catalyst for such emotional euphoria, people can also get such sensations by an electric jolt from an electrode implanted through your skull. Love instead is a lifestyle. It is a fundamental philosophy, a perspective on reality. A state of being, not an act of doing.
The First Love.
First Love is an interesting phenomenon, for most it usually is recounted as a silly senseless foolish crush from emotions and hormone, and typically is full of sappy romantic and idealistic notions that suddenly get slapped in your face and rejected when you discover that life and reality is a little bit more cold than you had originally presumed at such a young age. And so people grow up and spend years getting over it. Naturally and consequently, while most people put on the happy face and talk about how silly and naive they were, the actual affects on the person are of very traumatic nature to the character as an individual. Love honestly is the deepest and most personal aspect to a person, and because of that their first love has a profound impact on their life, consciously or subconsciously. I presume many people even to this day often have a lingering question “what if?” in the back of their mind of their memories. Perhaps even more devastating to a person isn’t perhaps the harsh slap or rejection, but more the dream smashing, hope dashing realization that their first love wasn’t who they had dreamt and thought about, that they weren’t so ideal or perfect but disgustingly human, mortal, sinful, imperfect and foolish. Such a charactering-altering moment is crucially defining to an individual; love, the most important component to their life, has suddenly been smashed to tiny bits and pieces, this does a massive toll on a human psyche and thus their ability to grow up, mature, and trust other people later. In essence, the devastation of the first love often ruins an individual or brings them a great deal of pain and anguish.
Rewind. We missed it entirely; the most obvious connection in existence has been entirely brought into such disillusionment in our culture that people don’t even notice it. What is the phenomenon of the First Love? Why is it so prevalent? Why does it impact an individual so much? How exactly does Love in the first place trigger such a fundamental and profound effect on the very core psyche and character of a person? What is the big deal?
We’re human. And humans love. Every human at one point has loved, and the way that others react and respond to this love often shapes the person into who they are. But even this still doesn’t answer the question, a question so rudimentary that is not even needed to be asked. Why do we love in the first place? Why is love a universally defining aspect to humans? Why are we, an intelligent and civilized species, not like the ordinary animals through which a good humping job is all that is needed for life and reproduction? Why are humans not simply like animals whom which do not express such vivid portrayals of love? Why do we love?
At this point, we need some prerequisites. Either a fundamental assumption about the existence of God and his Divine and Holy, Pure, Noble, Infinite, Good, Just, Merciful, Autonomous, Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Personal, Loving and Creative and nature or a thorough understanding and discourse in reason, logic, philosophy and theology that ultimately conclusively require such an Being to exist. If you have a problem with the existence of such a being I recommend reading other essays written by myself and then personally talking to me and I will prove to you the absolute framework in this universe that necessarily needs such an Entity, so if you are one of those people you need to stop reading this essay or else its progression won’t make any sense.
…because of that, we therefore can see why God created such a creature, a Human Being, made in His image, creating a creature that has a free will, to see if of their own volition, they will love God back. A creature that does not have a will of its own, an autonomy, would robotically and automatically ‘love’ God back, because it is the most logical and reasonable thing to do (namely, getting on the good side of the Creator of Everything is usually the best choice, I mean, you know, compared to the alternatives). However, there is no glory in that, there is no praise, and truly it is not even ‘love’ at all if it is script, a program. A sculptor, though sculpting a man bowing down to the sculptor, receives no True glory, love, affection, honor, adoration, or praise from the sculpted man, the figure still is a harsh and cold block of marble. Therefore, the existence of free will is an absolute necessity for a thing to Truly Love back. Thus, God made mankind in His own image, the Image of God, and then blessed man with paradise. God did absolutely everything of the most wonderful and cherishable nature, God loved man. Now, would man love God back? Would man do the most obvious, most reasonable, most wonderful thing, and praise God, love God, and adore God?
The First Lovers. Now that we know why we love, perhaps understanding the First Lovers will give us a better answer to the First Love Phenomenon and what Love itself is. At this point, what love is should come quite naturally since we’ve established all the basics leading up to it. Love is an act of volition, or otherwise a state of being, it is a decisive existence and a fundamental defining characteristic of the principles of an individual, it is a conscious choice made not of selfish ambition but for a purposes of a higher, greater, nobler quality and character. Love is something you are, every moment. Love is a lifestyle.
Through this we can see the beauty of the story of Adam and Eve, regardless if it is literal or allegorical, debating if it is an actual timespace event or a metaphysical story is the greatest disgrace to one of the world’s most insightful, brilliant, transcendent and wise explanation of the most fundamental issue of a Human Being. The story of Adam and Eve is also quite frankly the story of all of us, too. We live in a material world and we can enjoy the pleasures and sensations of such a beautiful creation, we are blessed by God, we now have that imminent option: do we love God back? If we truly do, we shall not eat of the “forbidden fruit.” If we examine every single law that God has revealed, we shall discover that absolutely every single one has a reason behind it, usually that reason is actually for the sake of the individual and not for and of God. But “do not eat this fruit, I forbid you” has no reason as to why, but simply a testament of your Love, a conscious, decisive choice to be loyal, to worship, praise, adore and Love God back for absolutely no reason other than a simple act of volition, a state of being. To Love, is to do the unreasonable, not in attempts to do the foolish, but to prove your commitment.
This is what Love is all about, and the results of such a state of being, an existence, a lifestyle, is an infinite, unreasonable, surplus of joy and happiness. True Love is the greatest thing to strive for. But now, let us reexamine the First Lovers, as is renown, they failed. And in an epic tragedy, we read as Adam, though knowing the good and evil of the consequences of his choices, decides to ignore and rebel against the Creator of the Universe and be cursed with Eve. Ironically, his choice actually was an act of Love, being so thoroughly committed to Eve that he revolted against God, the one who loved him first, and loved him so much He even created Eve for Adam to love as well.
Do you see it? Did you miss it? It is that simple, it is that profound. God is your first love, He is your first lover. He explains his Love by loving on you, namely, he created a companion, that way Adam had a physical, tangible source and understanding of God’s love, just in case you are not good with the abstract-fluffy-platonic-form-in-the-sky type of philosophy and fuzzy love, guess what, he created a real world concrete example to help you understand how much God loves you, and yes, that real world concrete example is sizzling hot and sexy, and foxy all over. God has supplied you with both the ideal and the real.
Therefore, back on First Loves in general, here is the problematic situation. People easily confuse the ideal, that romantic, sappy, beautiful perfection, with the person themselves, the real concrete example. Your First Love is God. And God reveals his beauty, his character to you through a person. This person is just as fallen and sinful as Eve, and you are now role-playing the Adam part. You now have the choice, to Love God, have paradise, be blessed with your hot spouse, and have the most amazing relationship, a relationship that is incredible because God, the Creator of the Universe and your First Love is the instigator of your relationship; He is the bond between you. Therefore I will boldly state, you can never Truly Love another individual unless you have Truly Loved God first. And because you have found True Love with God, He blesses and loves you back in a manifold of ways, greatest of all, with a companion whom infinitely more will show you the even deeper beauty of God as they Love you back just as both of you Love God back as well.
There is no Love sweeter than this, no Love greater than this, none as beautiful, as True, as fulfilling, as sexy.
On Sex and Betrothal
If you can Love like this, then Heaven, God wants you to create mini-yous and mini-yourhotspouse. And Heaven, the amount of tantalizing pleasure the Philosopher gets out of having his perfect ideal abstract philosophical concept of Love should also have its equally pleasurable real-world concrete: hot steamy sex. Heaven yes, I just compared Philosophy with intercourse, get over it. Wow, and you thought giving you a thinking-exercise about “Sex before Marriage” was messing with your brain, look at the mess you are in now. But speaking of which, and now getting back on topic, I mentioned there would be more to say on “Sex before Marriage”.
Actually, now taking the issue in its own categorical right, “Betrothal”, there are some interesting things to be said. First off, the word choice, since “marriage” is going under such legal scrutiny and government control I’ve decided it is wise to entirely avoid such a now catastrophic term. Because of this, the beautiful word “wedding” will be used to refer to the traditional public declaration to your community of your commitments. But prior to even this, I shall use the word “Betrothal” to express what could be considered as the “engagement”, but fundamentally it roots back to the moment where the two individuals privately declare fidelity to each other.
Now here is an issue of notary concern. In this society and culture people do get married, as well as divorced, but often even prior to that they have a whole slew of boyfriends or girlfriends or maybe even both. Dating is rampart with physical aggression and even sexual experimentation. This is absolutely wrong.
Why?
Good question. Love is a state of being, an act of volition, and a decisive commitment, it is principled and expresses fidelity, it is loyal and faithful. Now, what is Loving? Or making love? Just as it has very thoroughly gone through how fundamental and essential Love is to a human being, this next part should be even more universally understood. Watch these two beautiful worlds merge. Sexual intercourse is by far and wide the most desired thing in the world, more than gold and power, if they average that 3 children are born every second imagine how many people are getting it on every second, having sex is like breathing air. The collision of two humans, in their bodily forms, the Vessel and the Temple of the Lord, is the most beautiful expression of Love, fore mostly because of the amount of volumetric pleasure, joy and happiness it brings to the individuals. Two Lovers, in the True since of Love, want to Love on each other just as God loves on us, these two souls want to please and bring as much happiness and joy to each other as they possibly can. Sexual intimacy is the greatest possible expression of love that humans are capable of.
True commitment, true fidelity, True Love is exactly what it claims to be. Therefore such physical aggression and sexual promiscuousness is the most damaging, unloyal and unfaithful thing that one can do prior to Betrothal. True Love is a state of being, which is timeless, it is something that you are every moment, regardless if you have met your Beloved or not, from the moment of conscious awareness to the moment you die, it is an unfaltering state of being, an existence, a lifestyle. Just as you do not have an extra life to “practice” living, you do not have an extra love life, prior to your beloved, to “practice” loving, such attempts and experimentation are as consequentially damaging to an individual as if one lived their life as an experiment to cast it away to death. Interestingly enough, in a materialistic culture you increasingly see people living out such lives. Willingly sacrificing oneself, as if a lab rat, and ostentatiously attempting to define this as “practice” is unwise and a feeble excuse just to try and experience the physical sensations without the True Love, Betrothed, Timeless, Life Long commitment, the fidelity.
This is the beauty of Betrothal, it is not a pathetic excuse of dating, or yet another boyfriend-girlfriend, or even courting. It is a relationship in its most Godly, purest, sexiest, most beautiful and noble potential, it is True Love. Inside of this topic, I perhaps have an interesting addition to the topic of “Sex before Marriage”. Honestly, at this moment of Betrothal, this beautiful expression of True Love and Eternal Fidelity, this is the defining moment where sexual relation arises, sexual unity is simply the physical counterpart to the spiritual unity, the commitment of volitions, the Betrothal. Sexual intimacy cannot come into existence until one is Betrothed; sexual intercourse is the natural consequence of betrothal. One cannot have sexual relations unless they are betrothed and they cannot have such intimacy with anyone other than their Beloved. Betrothal and sex are inextricably connected, and cannot be separated. This beautiful eternal moment, in the presence of God, is what I truly see as the defining moment. However, God also blesses and provides people with a community, and to do things in the proper celebratory and ceremonial way, which humans have a very strong tendency for, traditionally the custom is to wait to have intercourse until you’ve made the public vow to God and your spouse in front of a community, so then you can have a ball of a time feasting and drinking and dancing and then getting it on, after the wedding. Thus, a wedding is really only the public celebration and traditional ceremony of the Betrothal. I foresee waiting until then is a much more proper and viable time. Betrothed couples are a unit in society, and therefore should act responsibly, loyally, respectfully to their community.
Beautiful. That is what the unity is. Where two souls collide, the deepest, purest affection. Innocence is not lost, it is gained. The leaping spark between the lovers, such sensations of fire and tingling, the irresistible chemistry, the bond of God. The motion towards each other, nay, as they approach one another they approach their Father, such pursuit is of the most darling expressions, and innocence is multiplied. The progression towards sexual sensation is the gain of innocence. The ultimate unity of the two bodies, Holy Temples of the Lord, forming one flesh is as beautiful of a parallel to us uniting with Christ as his Holy Bride. Salvation, and the blessing of Paradise. Intercourse and the pleasure of stimulation. Heaven and its beauty. Heavenly bodies in motion with each other. A glimpse at the face of God. The ultimate happiness and warmth in each others arms. Worship unto Him, the most beautiful glory and praise.
True Love. Eternal Fidelity.
Vindication. Christ in a Rose, Swanson. Justification.
